She Isn’t Ready

Strong enough to bear the children and get back to business," after all it must be true since Beyonce said it.
But are we?
I will be the first to admit I am not....at least not yet.

My son is 52 days young. I am enjoying my time with him, watching him giggle and get excited when I sing to him, and our special moments when he is nuzzled on my chest as I rock him to sleep. He enjoys hearing the ABC's [I sign the letters too] and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. We spell his name (verbally and with ASL) and encourage him to speak....As you can imagine, I am dreading the day I have to return to work. I am not ready to "get back to business" just yet. I still have bonding to do with my precious baby boy. I have been a ball of emotions the past few days and of course I shed a few tears (but you already knew that).

As I mentally try to prepare myself for what is going to happen in the next couple of weeks, I can't help but be a bit anxious. I knew we would have to resort to daycare, so I did my due diligence and searched for the best. I found it. The staff is very experienced and there are cameras and Brian and I can get real-time updates. The daycare offers developmental programs for infants and the student to teacher ratio is 1:3. Security protocols are in place to ensure my baby boy is safe, and they are clean. Mama always said, cleanliness is next to Godliness.

I must constantly remind myself that the daycare we chose is a great place and that Brayden will be just fine. It's just as a FTM, I am having a hard time leaving my son. But who wouldn't have a hard time leaving this face???

As time goes on I am sure I will become more acclimated to my reality, but for now I will be praying I don't have a melt down my first day back on the job.