I know you've probably heard about "Postpartum Depression" aka "Baby Blues" where the mother is a hormonal mess after delivering the baby... well this post is dedicated to all of that and then some; aka post partum hues. [See what I did there?]

I will break down the hues using our friend Roy G. Biv.

R-is for Red. Yes. Red. You are frustrated probably because the Birth Plan you had, went out the window and or the doctor you wanted to deliver your child was not on call that day. It happens. I was red, because after 4 weeks, the scar from my unplanned c-section is not completely healed and in fact I had to go back to the doctor because the stitch knot loosened and a shallow part of the wound is open. I never thought I'd have to have a c-section but I did. My doctor was on call, but Brayden decided to stay put, so her shift was over by the time he made his debut. The doc that did deliver Brayden is pretty awesome tho, so I didn't mind.

O- is for Orange. Not as frustrating as red, but still annoying. I was orange because I had an allergic reaction to something [still not sure what] and have had hives for 3 weeks. Prescribed steroids are my friend right now along with Hydrocortisone and Allegra. I was also orange because the excessive swelling I had during pregnancy is still here, a problem along with the SPD. Granted I can move on my own now, so that's a plus [the last trimester, Brian had to help me do everything, literally].

Y- is for Yellow or yours. I'm yellow because as a FTM, the realization really set in that this human belongs to me. I cannot give him back to his parents. Lol .... I am responsible for this life. Every cry, every feeding, every poopy diaper, every bath. Me. Mine.

G- is for Green. Yep. I went green with envy for the mothers that were immediately able to nurse their newborns. Breastfeeding is not as easy as it looks in movies and in Pinterest pictures. It is hard and it hurts (more than pumping in my opinion) and sometimes your milk supply isn't as high as it needs to be and or your baby doesn't latch well. If you really had your heart on breastfeeding (solely) and found yourself having to supplement with formula it makes you sad. I spent some time crying because I wanted to feed my baby when he was hungry and there were times I literally couldn't.  I'm not going to lie, it is an emotional roller-coaster.

Think about it.

All of your life you've been told that breastfeeding is best for the baby(nutrients/bonding) and for you (shed the weight/bonding); and now the time has finally come for you to do what is one of the most natural things for women and you struggle.

B- is you guessed it, Blue. And that I was for a little while. Not depressed, but not feeling like myself. I was in pain from the c-section, and due to my medication allergy, I had to take the meds with Benadryl. Do you know how tired you are already from waking every 2 hours for a diaper change and feeding on top of Benadryl??? Let me tell you. VERY, VERY TIRED. Plus, since I had to supplement, finding the right formula was a challenge. My poor baby would cry and cry and cry because of an upset stomach. He inherited my stomach sensitivity to milk unfortunately. Hearing him cry and not being able to do anything will mess with your psyche.

I-is for Indigo. Each day it gets easier, you have gotten baby on a routine and know exactly when he needs to eat, how to test the formula on your wrist while holding him, when he needs to be changed, how to calm him, and how to sleep with him snuggled on your chest and not roll over.  You get the hang of it and you aren't as tired.

V-is for Violet. The light at the end of the tunnel. We found the right formula to supplement nursing(my baby finally has a great latch and he can nurse for an entire meal) and he sleeps for 4-5 hours at night. #FTW 

You still have those moments when you are just exhausted and you feel like crying, but they don't happen often. I mean I've had three good tear drops this month, but who's counting.

The first month Post pregnancy is different. You are learning how to live with a baby on top of still being hormonal. Due to the c-section, I couldnt drive for 3 weeks, so I was confined to the house with the exception of doctor appointments. I really just wanted to get out of the house. The last week I became a free woman. Oh the things we take for granted.

Now, I'm focused on losing the baby weight (down 40lbs) and trying to feel like myself again. It helps to put my make up and pearls on even tho I'm not going anywhere. I can't workout yet, but walks with Brayden are in full effect. I hadn't had a mani or pedi in over a month (I usually do self maintenance twice a month), so my mom came over and I was able to have a few hours to myself to get pampered.

It's important to take care of yourself even though you have a new baby. Your child is now a priority, but you can't care for the child if you're falling to pieces. The hues are real. Don't let it build up. Rainbows are pretty, but post partum hues are not.

I've been told more times than I can count "Sleep when baby sleeps" ... great advice, however  [comma] you need to shower when baby sleeps. Eat when baby sleeps. Pee when baby sleeps.  And just maybe, wash a load of the baby laundry when baby sleeps. Lastly, sleep when baby sleeps.

One month in the books. I am tired (officially a Mombie), but Brayden is doing great. He is healthy and growing. My prayers have been answered